As in the Family, so in Society

This is the title of an article in the current issue of New City, the UK edition of Focolare's magazine. The article reproduces a talk given by Chiara Lubich in June 1993.

The article raises three questions.

1. Chiara Lubich presents what some will see as a very rosy view of what family life is like, and want to argue that this view is now so unusual that it cannot be considered as relevant to most families today. What is an appropriate response to this view?

2. If one accepts Chiara's view of family life as legitimate, it still suggests a practice of family life that many Catholics will not find familiar. What can Catholic families learn from Chiara's talk?

3. Now, more so than in 1993, a Catholic vision of family life needs to respond to questions of inter-religious dialogue. In particular, is the vision of family life that Chiara presents one that can be shared to any extent by Muslims, for whom one husband can have several wives and therefore, in the Western sense, several families?

This is the text of Chiara's article (I have not been able to find an electronic version to link to).

We are on the threshold of the third millennium. The family, every family can take a lead in shaping this era. Devised by God as a masterpiece of love, the family is able to inspire the guidelines that can con­tribute to changing tomorrow's world.
In fact, if we look at the family, if we were to take an x-ray of it, we would discover enormous and precious val­ues, which if projected and applied to all of humanity have the potential to transform it into one big family.
The family is founded on love, a bond that has many dimensions: love between spouses, among parents and their children, between grandparents, uncles and aunts with nieces and nephews, among brothers and sisters. It is a love that grows continuously, always going beyond itself. In the same way, the love among spouses generates new life and the relation among brothers and sisters becomes friendship. And because authority and the various roles are expressions of love, they are accepted naturally.
In the family it comes sponta­neously to put everything in com­mon, to share everything and to have a single economy. Savings are not hoarding but rather prudent foresight. It is normal to provide for the needs of those who are not yet productive or of those who no longer are.
In the family people of all ages live together. It is natural to live for the other, to love one another.
Even education occurs in a sponta­neous way: it is enough to think of a baby's first steps or his or her first words. Punishment and forgiveness are given only for the good of the person.
The sense of justice is normal in the family just as it is normal to feel the other's guilt and shame. It is natu­ral to suffer and to sacrifice oneself for the family, to carry one another's burdens. Solidarity and faithfulness to one's family are spontaneous.
In the family the other's life is just as precious as one's own, at times even more so; one feels concerned about everyone's health and takes care of those that are not well.
The family is the place where life naturally begins and ends and where the handicapped, the elderly and the terminally ill find acceptance, affec­tion and care.
In the family each member is clothed and nourished according to his or her needs.
The home is built and taken care of together with everyone's participation.
In the family everyone teaches and everyone learns: everything serves for the maturation of its members. Its members may have different cultural values but all these diversities become enrichment for all.
In the family communication is also spontaneous; everyone participates in everything and shares everything.
And so the task of every family is to live its vocation with such perfec­tion that it becomes a model for the entire human family and passes on to it all of its values by example.
In this way the family will become ... a seed of communion for the world of the third millennium.
Is it natural for a family to put everything in common? This could be the seed from which an economic sys­tem at the service of humankind can spring forth, a seed of a culture of giv­ing, of an economy of communion.
Is it spontaneous in the family to live one for the other, to live the other? This is the seed of acceptance among groups, peoples, traditions, races and societies that opens the door to reciprocal inculturation.
Does the passing on of values from generation to generation come sponta­neously in the family? It could then be an incentive for placing new emphasis on education in society. What is more, the example of correction and forgive­ness in the life of the family can be a model for the justice system.
Is another member's life valued as one's own in the family? This is the seed of the culture of life that must enlighten the laws and the structures of society.
Does the family take care of its home and try to make it reflect the harmony among its members? This is the seed of a renewed awareness of the environment and of ecology.
In the family, are studies aimed at the development of the person? This is the seed that can lead to cultural, scien­tific and technological research aimed at discovering little by little the myste­rious design of God for humanity and to working for the common good.
In the family, is communication impartial and constructive? This is the seed for a social communication system at the service of humankind; one that highlights and transmits the positive and that seeks to be an instrument of world peace and unity.
Is love the natural bond among the members of the family? This is the seed of structures and institutions that work for the good of the commu­nity and of individuals that aspire to universal brotherhood, giving value to each individual nation .... God created the family as a model for every other human coexistence. This therefore is the task of families: always to keep the fire of love burn­ing in every home and to reawaken those values that God entrusted to the family in order to bring them gener­ously and without rest to every sector of society.

To offer an answer to my three questions:

1. An adequate phenomenology of the family, which gives full account of the situation of the family in the past as much as of the situation of the family today, will recognise that some manifestations under the title of family represent a deviation or corruption of what is genuinely intended by the phenomenon of the family. Similarly, as Pope Benedict XVI suggested in the address that he had prepared to deliver at La Sapienza, what we receive from previous generations - in this case a more stable and unified vision of marriage and family life - has something genuine to offer to today's understanding.

2. One of the striking aspects of Chiara's talk is the number of points at which it suggests practical implementations of the unity of life that underlies marriage and family life. This should not be a surprise given the particular charism of unity that is a feature of the Focolare movement. One example of this is the suggestion that "it comes spontaneously to put everything in common, to share everything and to have a single economy". There is much here that might inform marriage preparation. As a single person, I am very conscious of the need for unity in a friendship, and am sometimes quite amazed at the lack of unity that I sometimes glimpse among those who are, to use the customary phrase, "in a relationship", or are married.

3. I think Chiara's vision does represent a challenge to Islam. Chiara's vision is implicitly monogamous, and so can only in part be lived out in a polygamous situation.

This moving post by Deacon Pat Kearns offers an insight into one family's attempt to live the unity that Chiara presents in her talk. It also gives an idea of the inter-relation of family and wider society today - and the dangers of the influence being from society to your family rather than the other way round.