Abortion and Afterwards

In 1988, a few weeks after I had had an abortion, I became destructive and emotionally unstable - moody, tearful, lethargic - I was unable to forget or come to terms with what had happened I had never experienced anything like it before and was both surprised and frightened by the depth and complexity of my feelings. I needed to talk, to hear other women's experiences, to know why they had chosen abortion and how they had coped. I discovered it was a taboo subject, so I turned to books. There was little there ...

I resolved to write a book of my own for my own therapy. And slowly, through words, I began to understand by feelings, and used my knowledge of therapy to guide me through my grief. Through writing I began to understand the enormity of my experience and what had happened to my relationship - I became disturbed at how we 'the aborters' were treated and viewed by others. I had come through my experience and integrated it into my life - I had survived the worst crisis of my life. But what of others?

.... All of the women, and men, I have spoken to  or whose letters I read, have shared, for the most part, a highly distressing and painful experience. They shared their experiences for two reasons:

- it was the first time anyone had asked them about their feelings and wanted to listen;

- in the hope that their experiences might help other women cope.

The above is a significant part of the Preface to a book entitled Abortion and afterwards, written by Vanessa Davies, and first published in 1991. The book was not written from a pro-life perspective; rather it was intended as a source of practical guidance for those facing a decision about abortion, with perhaps a particular target audience amongst those women who make a decision for an abortion. My own copy (second hand) has the stamp "Family Planning Association Information and Research Centre" on the inside front cover.

In the light of recent media coverage of Crisis Pregnancy Centres, Vanessa Davies' book has interesting aspects. Part Two, for example, is entitled "Afterwards: The Healing Process". The first chapter of this part addresses  "Feelings", recognising that "depression, guilt, anger, sadness, euphoria, relief, resentment, anxiety and grief" (p.121) are common themes in the experiences of women who have had an abortion. The second chapter in Part Two carries the title "Grief". The chapters describe, and suggest ways of coping with, these feelings.

It is interesting that a book written from a point of view that is essentially supportive of abortion recognises that a significant process of healing may be necessary after a woman has had an abortion. It gives part of a context for the work of pregnancy counselling services that do not refer for abortion.