tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994073177496022401.post7112622418737432205..comments2024-03-27T15:00:33.760+00:00Comments on Catholic Commentary: Redefining the FamilyJoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09339499088443959192noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994073177496022401.post-35977184702236811602010-01-20T13:47:36.812+00:002010-01-20T13:47:36.812+00:00Yes, I realise that's what you're assertin...Yes, I realise that's what you're asserting (marriage constitutes a new reality) but I'm not seeing any support for this position. <br /><br />Nothing magic happens at the point of marriage. All you're doing is saying, "I promise not to be a dick." My contention is that you are no less likely to be a dick after the marriage ceremony than you were before it. And that's all that matters isn't it?<br /><br />I do not see how reality has changed in any way other than in the sense that you've done something that's traditionally thought of as important and you have entered into a different legal arrangement than you were in before.<br /><br />Both of those things are purely artificial constructs that have been put in place simply to supposedly strengthen the importance of marriage.<br /><br />Yet if it's simply public accountability and a legally binding contract you're after then surely you're missing the whole point of being in a relationship.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994073177496022401.post-58415985287704168612010-01-18T18:16:49.768+00:002010-01-18T18:16:49.768+00:00Mike: Thank you for your comment.
I think the wor...Mike: Thank you for your comment.<br /><br />I think the words/vows exchanged at marriage do constitute a new reality (the marriage) - and that would, I think, be the Catholic view (with a qualification with regard to consumation!).<br /><br />But your post quite rightly indicates that there is the need to live out in the future what is expressed in the moment of the wedding.Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09339499088443959192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994073177496022401.post-74669690254912930392010-01-18T09:00:59.474+00:002010-01-18T09:00:59.474+00:00I disagree. It seems to me that the purpose and me...I disagree. It seems to me that the purpose and meaning of the word family is one of committment and binding together. This implies growth over time rather than an instant of creation at some magic moment in a marriage ceremony.<br /><br />I happen to be married, and happily so for thirteen years now, but I have to say the marriage made no difference to my life or that of my wife. It turned out to be a very expensive party for a lot of relatives we rarely see and often barely knew. Neither of us are religious but we felt it was our duty to marry in church for the sake of my religious mother-in-law. So the religious aspect of marriage is irrelevant for us and many others as well.<br /><br />It was a nice day and we got some nice photos and memories but in hindsight we'd have been better off spending the money on a very nice holiday and a generous donation to a suitable charity.<br /><br />We're more committed to each other now than we were when we married and we were no more committed to each other immediately after the marriage than immediately before it. We said some words that told everyone else how committed we were to each other but words count for little in reality. It's the little deeds that build over time that really matter. In other words the marriage didn't suddenly make us a family in any sense. Family is what you do not what you say.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com